I paid $1,400 to eat at Noma and it was miserable: Tepid tea, reindeer penis, condescending servers

Even the best restaurant on the planet has its critics. 

Earlier this year, Noma — the 3 Michelin-starred dining establishment that has actually topped the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list 5 times — revealed it was closing its doorsin 2024 and foodies fasted to grieve the approaching death of the Copenhagen dining location.

But, British reporter Farrah Storr states great riddance. In the Times of London, she penned a hilarious, scathing review of her current experience at the dining establishment.

Storr prefaces the tirade by stating she and her other half have actually been desiring to attempt chef René Redzepi’s edible opus for the previous years, keeping in mind that it’s “difficult to get a table.” This year, they were lastly able to snag a lunch booking. With the “juice pairing,” the meal ran about $700 an individual — about the expense of a “pre-owned Ford Fiesta.” It was barely worth it.

“You opt for high expectations – gold-star things,” Storr composes. She was well familiarized with the dining establishment and the sort of unconventional foods she may be served.

“Yes, you may discover ants on your plate, or ‘reindeer brain custard,’ as we did; hello, perhaps even reindeer penis, which it ends up we were likewise served, in a cold, nutty salad (they wear’t expose precisely what’s in stated salad up until the very end, when they pass you the menu with a half laugh) — I’m okay with all of that,” Storr composes.

But the hospitality — or do not have thereof — was not OK.

The dining experience started with a “cup of tepid tea that was proffered as however it was a bowl of Mayan gold,” Storr composes, keeping in mind that there were 15 visitors ahead of her coming from New York, Switzerland and the UK. She explained the ambiance and atmosphere as having a “whiff of a specific Roald Dahl story about it: a mad genius revered the world over and us, the golden ticket winners, come to declare our reward.” 

The restaurants were then welcomed by the “whole kitchen area personnel” smiling upon entry into the dining-room. Every server apparently looked the exact same, while the chefs said the familiar “yes” each time a meal was prepared to be served.

“It was enjoyable at initially, however an hour into lunch it seemed like acoustic abuse,” Storr composes, depicting the “unusual and frightening”  “slavish commitment” she referred to as Noma-core. 

“When I left a few of my reindeer brain custard inside the skull in which it was served (as did the table behind us) — not since it was basically brain juice, however since it was milky and undesirable — the waitress looked mad as she went to raise my plate. ‘Not comfy with offal?’ she asked. I discussed that was not the case at all, rather that the texture rendered it challenging to eat. There was no smile, no apology, just a sneer — I felt as however I had actually in some way stopped working Noma.”

Two courses later on, Storr’s other half was prohibited from getting up to utilize the centers. 

“Your next course is coming, you’ll have to wait,” a server stated, then proffered “yet another cup of tepid tea that tasted as though somebody had actually put their Marlboro Red out in it.”

When Storr left the tea cup half complete, she was scolded at and asked: “Could you at least value it?” 

The duo endured a parade of another 15 meals – among that included a saffron ice cream meal that tasted “concurrently like Play-Dough and absolutely nothing at all,” Storr composes, keeping in mind a server commented “Not a fan of saffron?” 

“’No, not a fan of ice cream that tastes like Barbie’s legs,’ I desired to scream — Noma was start to feel less like a reward and more like an endurance test,” Storr continues. 

By completion of the meal, Storr questioned her own journalistic stability, wrecking her brain about why she wasn’t taking pleasure in the meal. 

“Was the issue us?” she questioned. Then she understood other restaurants were declining their cold plates of food also. 

What’s even worse? They left starving.

“Noma now feels more like a cult than a dining establishment,” she concludes.